Tuesday, June 30, 2009

the road less taken?

I don't remember when was the last time I felt so torn between decisions. Yeah, I may be a fickle minded person at times but let me tell you, I have never been so bothered my whole life. What would you do? Would you even consider yourself hopping into an airplane half a world away for 6 months and leave everything behind knowing that things will never be the same again? Or would you just stay where you are and submerge yourself with great moments shared with loved ones?

I don't wanna miss out on things; I don't want to have to leave so many loved ones and things behind just to satisfy the needs of wanting to venture all around the British soil. I know if I leave, everything is going to take a huge change. So drastically that I might not be the same Minny that you know. On the contrary, I am aware that if I don't grasp this opportunity, I might feel upset about it in the future and feel like a total fool for giving it up.

I left the television on, my favorite drama is showing. I can't sleep. I can't focus. Every time I start thinking about this, I get a pinch of fear. I don't like change. I don't want to start new. I don't want to leave. This is rather complicating because at the same time, I want to go and do the things that I've always wanted to. What's stopping me? My emotions? My fear of the unknown? Jotting down my feelings and thoughts is not an easy task, after all.

Yeah. So finally Georg-Simon Ohm University, Nurnberg Germany has sent me a letter of acceptance. I'm so thrilled and grateful that I got accepted in. I don't even have to pay for my tuition fees nor for my flight tickets. I just have to pay for my accommodation and expenditures. A dream come true.

This is all happening too fast. It's already almost JULY and I have to be in Germany before September 2nd. That means, I will have to say my goodbyes during mid August..

So many feed backs. I need more anyway. Most people encouraged me to go for it.. If I were them, I would do the same too. I get to travel around Europe and at the same time, have a great life-changing experience out of it. But, I don't know. I don't want to make a decision that I will regret. Can I handle myself when I'm there? - physically, spiritually, financially and emotionally? Can I even deter from feeling home sick? Should I go? :( My heart aches every time I think of leaving Penang for Germany. The irony. sigh.

friends. family. you.
If only you know how this feels
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss all of the moments that we are now sharing
& miss out on all of the memories that we can craft together.

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