fever.headache.cough.flu

I HATE BEING ILL
no. it's not H1N1

cloudlike promises

ALL of YOU are the same.
at least i once thought you weren't.

what would you do when you know something's coming but you still f&*kin wanna dip your freakishly versatile yet fragile heart in?
dumb ass.

tomorrow's a different day.
we'll see.

hairhairhairhairhair

DA-YUM!

messy, unruly, long locks.

i've always loved Lindsay's hair.
she grows it longer, longer and longer.

shouldn't have went for the choplah. damn regret :(
i look like hunchback of notredam here lmao.

it's now soooooooooooooooo short!!!!!!!!!!
sigh.sigh.sigh.

Classes @ Uni starts in 1 day. I don't remember doing anything productive during my 2 months off though. Goodbye late nights & Hello to Geeky-Minny.

the road less taken?

I don't remember when was the last time I felt so torn between decisions. Yeah, I may be a fickle minded person at times but let me tell you, I have never been so bothered my whole life. What would you do? Would you even consider yourself hopping into an airplane half a world away for 6 months and leave everything behind knowing that things will never be the same again? Or would you just stay where you are and submerge yourself with great moments shared with loved ones?

I don't wanna miss out on things; I don't want to have to leave so many loved ones and things behind just to satisfy the needs of wanting to venture all around the British soil. I know if I leave, everything is going to take a huge change. So drastically that I might not be the same Minny that you know. On the contrary, I am aware that if I don't grasp this opportunity, I might feel upset about it in the future and feel like a total fool for giving it up.

I left the television on, my favorite drama is showing. I can't sleep. I can't focus. Every time I start thinking about this, I get a pinch of fear. I don't like change. I don't want to start new. I don't want to leave. This is rather complicating because at the same time, I want to go and do the things that I've always wanted to. What's stopping me? My emotions? My fear of the unknown? Jotting down my feelings and thoughts is not an easy task, after all.

Yeah. So finally Georg-Simon Ohm University, Nurnberg Germany has sent me a letter of acceptance. I'm so thrilled and grateful that I got accepted in. I don't even have to pay for my tuition fees nor for my flight tickets. I just have to pay for my accommodation and expenditures. A dream come true.

This is all happening too fast. It's already almost JULY and I have to be in Germany before September 2nd. That means, I will have to say my goodbyes during mid August..

So many feed backs. I need more anyway. Most people encouraged me to go for it.. If I were them, I would do the same too. I get to travel around Europe and at the same time, have a great life-changing experience out of it. But, I don't know. I don't want to make a decision that I will regret. Can I handle myself when I'm there? - physically, spiritually, financially and emotionally? Can I even deter from feeling home sick? Should I go? :( My heart aches every time I think of leaving Penang for Germany. The irony. sigh.

friends. family. you.
If only you know how this feels
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss all of the moments that we are now sharing
& miss out on all of the memories that we can craft together.

that BITCH gave me a love bite.

yeah. i'm not kidding
A BITCH flippin bit me
a LOVE BITE i would say :P

It was last Saturday, when I was just walking down the road to a shop nearby on Burmah Road. Parked my car at some quiet neighborhood to avoid getting a ticket from the mata-matas of Malaysia because there weren't any parking available for me..

So I got down from the car, amazed by the number of trees they actually have in the neighborhood, I saw a couple of new-born puppies right infront of somebody's yard. I didn't even want to touch them because they looked SO tiny - like you can actually break them into bits and tear their head off if you carry them up. And so, I walked by and OUT OF NO WHERE, this stray-BITCH (what I mean is a female stray dog - like duhhh, what were you thinking!) jumped on me, scratched my leg and bit me :(

Being a drama queen which I already am, I kicked it because it was biting and biting AND biting like as if I'm a piece of drumstick or something. I ran into my car, got really upset and frustrated, parked next to it, whined down the window and threw a bottle containing at least a good 400ml of water towards it. BULLSEYE.

I guess it was just my luck. It was just protecting its pups. A mother's instict, but HELLO if you ever walk pass any dogs or puppies, PLEASE do not annoy it. Who knows the next person who walked next to it might be the victim of your doings - just like I did! The pain was stinging and was bleeding but my heart was in more pain, and I know if I didn't get a jab, I would be diagnosed with rabies. eeee!!! Enganging my gear into D, I drove to the nearest clinic.

Clinic 1 : CLOSED.
Clinic 2 : CLOSED.
Clinic 3 : NO PARKING.

mother%^&$@#!!!

At that point, I was already thinking how my life would be living with rabies -.- Paranoid sial I tell you.. So, I drove around, having no idea where is the next nearest clinic, I looked to the left and AH! there was it.... A CLINIC!

The nurse was so nice to me, asking how I felt and let me in first. Doctor said it was a minor one with a few scratches but I still needed a jab. darnit. I hate needles, more over injections.

Doctor : Less painful on the bum.. where'd you want it? and the injection is no pain at all
ME : THE ARMMMMMMMMMMM (the needle was at least a good 5cms long *faints*)
(I'm NOT exposing my lovely bum no matter what~)

so here are the pictures a week after I got bit.

see the bite marks?



some scratches and bite mark

there goes my leg.

tick tock tick tock ...

am i still myself?
i feel so isolated.
when will this ever end?

a laugh die me & scare die you photo
my sister and me (wth, i know! hahaha)

this obsession

*edited*

this was then [early october 2008]

this is now. took this picture like 15-30 minutes ago.
and yes, i have polkadotty-walls..

i don't wanna freakin' care no more.

SW : 127.6 (oct 11th)
CW : 118.8 (nov 4th)
GW : 105-110

im frustrated.
not progressing much...

i am AMAZINGLY blabbing.

this is a story of a girl,
who cried a river and drowned the whole world

time flies by like flickers of light today
i've been out the whole day since 9 in the morning
been running errands with mummy the whole day!;
paying bills, picking the suitable tiles for our new home
(I contributed the most at this one!),
choosing between curtains or blinds,
surveying through various furniture shops,
cruising through dato keramat road lookin for ACER's service center,
blablablablabla and bla.


we did manage to get some pinned down
after long hours of furniture hunting, we finally bought a beautiful dining set
YOU JUST HAVE TO LOVE LORENZO i tell you
i was so close to set up a tent there; i fell in love with the furnitures instantly!

me during Bachelor of Arts Translation & Interpretation interaction night.
yada yada.

well it's been a while since an ominously huge photo of me being posted up here;
so don't complain la! :D

i guess blogging is one of the ways for me to chill from all this hustle bustle of life
i've been sitting infront of the computer for hours, typing away my assignment;
i even signed off msn, resisting the temptation of facebooking and all. sigh.
and i'm only like 20% through with my first one.
WORSE, i have 4 other assignments and 2 major USM projects coming up.
e-oh-e-oh-e-oh!! LALALALALALA! TELETUBBIES!
wtfbbqchicken.really.


been sucha nerd lately .. GARGH.
"hello. im chan min min. *cough* uh." *pulls pants high up*


involved with too many stuffs especially in USM.
but i know i can handle this,
and it's for my own good anyway!

one of the events.
zherong and me at the launching of KONVEX '08 (usm graduation)

HAHAHHAHAA i am a MINAH!
cant even flippin recognize myself. how awful!
thanks Theepha, for lending me that gorgeous ladylike baju kurung :)

pfft. i better get back to my assignments,
getting late and i have to get up at like 9 to settle some stuffs
regarding our photography project in USM tmr.
and then off to the library
"uh. told-ya-i'm-a-uh-nerd."*fixes reading glasses*

sipeh random punya night -.-

emotions

i don't want this moment to ever end
where everything is nothing without you
i wait here forever just to see you smile
cause it's true, i am nothing without you.
thoughts ran unspoken, forever in doubt

a photo i found on deviantart which very much describes me
UNCERTAINTY.
through this life,
nobody knows what lies ahead,
everything is unknown and in doubt.
every step on the ground, you take with faith.
hoping that you won't fall any deeper.

getting a hair cut tomorrow before i head back to the island;
updates soon! classes starts on Monday. how "thrilling" -.-

TWO WATER THEMEPARKS IN A DAY!

sounds like fun doesn't it?
TWO water theme parks in a day! wow!
imagine how much "fun" Cedric, Sam, JJ and I had today!
please disregard the way I blog today; I know it's kinda messy
I'm still ill though :(

I don't have much photos because I left my handphone and camera at home
and the pictures are with both Cedric and JJ - they're offline now on msn!
so the pictures here i stole it from both their blogs.

anyway!

being a sweetheart, Cedric drove all of us to Sungai Petani
Our first destination - THE CARNIVAL!
punyalah excited sial.
Although I had a horrible headache, I managed to crawl out of bed to go crazy in some water theme park!
No one knew the way there so we trusted Cedric's intuition. :P

are we there yet?
are we there yet??
are we there yet???
we were all so darn excited ;
just like when a fat boy is being offered a cake!

WE WERE SOOOOOO HAPPY until the extent that when we reached the entrance
I asked "EH, ya'all dont wanna stop and take pictures of the entrance?"
you should see how Cedric put a halt to his car - emergency brake style
i almost puked and died in the car.

ANYWAY, this JAHANAM PUNYA CARNIVAL WASN'T OPEN!

what is this!!! MY HEART BROKE INTO PIECES OKAYYYY.
all those excitement and my effort getting out of bed when I'm ill! argh!
what more, it's such a disgrace that the website said the
themepark is closed every wednesday for maintenance or something.
but HELLO? it's tuesday, and it's closed?
GOD. where are their brains?
(i know ya'll can imagine the look on cedric's face when we found out it wasnt opened. lol)


so.
nevermind.
angel in disguise, cedric, drove us all to Bukit Merah!!!!
so okaylah. all of us managed to calm down~
and i was going on and on about the rides there!

we were literally dancing in joy when we surpass the toll to bukit merah. period!
SO HAPPY. i cannot even describe how excited and happy we all were lol.

dumdeedum. we walked in. "i cant wait. i cant wait!!!"

OMGWTFBBQCHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TUTUP
CLOSED
KHAM LIAO
MEI YOUW!!!
TAK BUKA!!!!!!


fuh fuh fuh fuh.
breathe in. breathe out.
breathe in. breathe out.

this is what we did anyway. bought duck food to feed the ducks there

it was fun! i screamed a whole lot and even shocked the guards there with it
they thought we drowned or our boats got stuck somewhere;
but to his surprise, i screamed because DUCKS WERE ATTACKING US!
hahahahaha it was sooooooooo funny.
(a proper update with lots of nicer pictures soon, i promise)

went to tambun and had yummylicious seafood.
OYSTER ON ROCKS.
and btw, you can proceed to Cedric's blog (click) and
JJ's (click) to read about their rants on this trip too.
nevertheless, we HAD FUN!

SAWADEEKA part I

Sawadee-ka!
yes ka, im back from bangkok ka.
here's the first part of my trip ka! :)
lol im very much siam-fied!


anyway, our mode of transportation is pretty "extravagant" and shocking at the same time.
parents decided to travel by TRAIN. ohmygoodness.
a 20 hour shaky choo-choo ride all the way to Bangkok.
it was such a waste of time; despite it being an experience that i would totally embed in my mind for years to come!
that train ride is my first and definitely my last.
you know, God was being brutal that day;
our train broke down and we were stuck in that train for more than 24 hours!!!!
IMAGINE THAT!

Bukit Mertajam train station

seats are meant for two but my sister and i bunked in with my parents for dinner.
i realized that i look so different now and then - must be the hair!

my sister got really paranoid; LOL
we slept in the train obviously (duh), but not in a seated position
they have bunk beds that can be stretched out from the seats!
divided into the lower and upper bunk,
my sister and i made the upper decks our crib for the night.

i remember waking up several times that night; heard Thai people murmuring in their mother tongue and what more i was sleep deprived due to the bumpiness of the train. My phone kept ringing; it was Friday night that day.
Friends were looking for me and Steven,
sorry that I coundn't make it to your birthday party at SS!

FINALLY! we arrived in bangkok at 1430 BKK time
which was 1530 malaysian time.
look at them people sitting around waiting for their train ride.
i saw a few leaning against the wall in a seated position, completely dozed off!

this was taken somewhere near where we lived;
thanks uncle Alan for offering us all a roof on our heads during our visit;
not to mention the hospitality that you've provided!

argh. the cost for 1 litre of petrol.
approximately RM4 in thailand;
i guess we malaysians are still lucky for just having to pay RM2.70 per litre.
I'm totally unhappy with the hike in our petrol price,
but i guess it's a world wide economy thing.




headed of to some night market near Bangna.
SO MANY CHEAP CLOTHINGS AND FOOD.
this one really caught my eye. :D
moths, lizards, grasshoppers, worms, etc etc and god-knows-what.

appetizing enough?
lol. i almost puked.
gonna puke if i stare longer at this picture;
WILL NEVER EVER EVER in my life put a roach in my mouth!

well i need to make a shout out here to a couple of people here
please shift your "care" towards your own children or spouse or relatives and not me
stop interfering with mine and blabbing things that may cause havoc
it's my life anyway, do i even need your consent? - NO.
are we even connected? - NO.
do i need you to manage my life? - NO.

SO, i'm being nice here, i dont need nobody to tell me what to do in life
especially from people who dont know what they're up to sometimes.
it's my own life, i sow what i reap.
besides, who are you to judge me?
stop acting like you know everything when you don't.
bugger off. thanks :)

all the way from BKK

FINALLY. I'm here! in bangkok.
such an adventure to get here;
my sister and i was ridiculously paranoid when we were on our "adventure" getting to where we are at the moment. It was fun, nonetheless :)


I can't update my blog for the next couple of days;
so do check back around the weekend - I think I'll be back in Penang by then.
I didn't bring my laptop here and
I don't think I want to spend my vacation infront of the screen either.


Scrap out the part when I said something like I wanna indulge in their local food?
MAN, I DO NOT WANT TO TRY THE ROACHES AND SCORPIONS AND MOTHS AND .. and .. and godknowswhat! Saw some lady selling it on the streets today and being a blogger that I am, I took pics of it lah - but I was grossed out. cannot tahan :(


AND OH!
I miss home already! I miss you guys!
I totally missed out on partying last night and tonight;
I know a lot of people were there - I received phone calls and such but;
too bad..


Well, it's getting quite late and I have a long day tomorrow,
take care loves!
xoxo.

"Each moment when it pops into my mind;

it's also the moment when I realize that it's probably just not worth it.

Why bother when you're the only one bothering?"

have you ever?

i know i've been slacking with this whole blogging thing;
been a pretty hectic week for me - emotionally and mental-wise.

have you ever stared up into the skies,
with never ending thoughts messing up your mind?

have you ever tried to please the people around you so much, that you start to neglect yourself and end up losing grip with the real you?

have you ever thought to yourself; what's the point of even trying?
have you ever thought to yourself; why should i care?
have you ever thought to yourself; am i another burden to this world?


people keep saying that it's a cold cold world out there, and i'm starting to see it. things used to be so simple back then. as we grow older, things tend to turn out the other way we thought it would. people don't appear to be who we thought they would be.
so deceiving yet so luring.
things you ought and thought would be true, is just an illusion after all.
sometimes, you can't trust anybody but yourself..
but have you ever thought to yourself that you yourself can let you down as well?


i can't stand the fact that people will only realize and cherish what they have until it's actually too late. i can't stand the fact when you FINALLY thought to yourself "have you ever had this same exact feeling?" when I don't anymore.

i had enough.

life is not another cinderella-snowwhite tale.
it's more than just being able to achieve your dreams.
it's more than just living everyday of it to the fullest.

Monday Blues

It was early on Monday morning when I eventually appeared in the kitchen;
I know that I looked just as shell-shocked as when my mom had last seen me waking up so early in the morning venturing out from the clouds - my bedroom.
I would rather roll myself around with my comforter accompanied by silence, which was merely interrupted by the sounds of birds chirping outside my window.


Monday blues.
My forehead throbbed. My back was aching; my legs were weak.
I felt a certain discomfort gushing through the veins and muscles of my body.
It hasn't gone away just yet ]:
Certainly, one would prefer to stay in bed and sleep all the stress away but who can resist the temptations that hunger may bring?


I've never felt so sentimental and so random at the same time.
My life at this point became unison with jazz/blues music, pizza & 100plus at 2.30 in the morning, blinking msn chat windows, and what more, my bloated tummy. LOL.
Eventually, there's nothing that my heart longs to do;
more or less my body.
Nevertheless, the mind is always occupied. funny how the brain works in such a way just like a heart does. It thinks without you noticing it just like a how a heart beats.
Is it even worth it?; I thought to myself as I slammed my door shut and dived into my bed.


Enough of me blabbing.
Im starting a personal blog soon; only for my eyes and a handful of people to know.
this one's too commercialized for my VERY personal updates!


Here are some pictures courtesy of Willazz :)

@ Baby's, Pulau Tikus, Penang.




i dont think they need any introductions anymore :)
& i just realized, that i have a thing for yellow tops now.

we dont look ready for a proper photo lol

emily was still not ready!

emily, me and the photographer a.k.a KL people a..ka william.
& ooh lookatdat, that's my beer!

puffer fish wannabe!

some people had just way too much fun LOL.
and ralph, wth are u doing back there?

this shows that william is VAIN because he's the only one lookin at the camera
hahahaha :D

better off this way!

WHOA.
alright, here's the dirt - i've been internet-less for the past couple of days.
that's why i couldnt come online or even check my beloved facebook!


have you ever been in a position where you knew something was coming?
and there was nothing that you can do about it because you already tried?
have you ever dialed a number on the telephone over and over again;
but all you hear is the operator's voice?
have you ever gone shopping, picked up a dress for a really good deal;
went home and then realize that it doesn't fit you perfectly?

my interview with SIA is tomorrow.
tomorrow, baybehhh!
feeling the jitters now!
is it just me? but is Penang getting more hot and humid each day?

blargh.

fuhyoh.
i want to update.
i have so many things to update about.
but something is buggering me.
have you ever had your own feelings driving you up the wall?


if you do, YAY. you just found out that you're not the only one!
I just feel happy, excited, nervous, hopeful, angry, confused,
short tempered, indecisive, lonely, loved, worried and sad at the same time.
it's so darn frustratinggggg i tell you.
i feel like screaming. losing grip seriously
what's going on? pfft. i wish i know.


and NO it's not PMS lah. stop guessing.
cant be bothered to do anything.
cant be bothered to even take my dinner.


*MSN chat*
MINNY koh samui! says:
im going crazy d
MINNY koh samui! says:
i go sms first
MINNY koh samui! says:
sms -.-
MINNY koh samui! says:
fuck.
MINNY koh samui! says:
i go blog first
MINNY koh samui! says:
how can i mistaken blogging with sms! :@

somebodyyyyyyyyyyyy entertain meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee please.
marko poloooooo where are youuu??

RAGE.

*dont read this if you dont dig controversies & drama*

RAGE [reyj]
–noun
1. angry fury
2. a fit of violent anger.

godamnit.
what's your goal now huh? to destruct and to pin me down with all those bloody mtf'ing phrases of yours? grow up i shall say. 21, acting the age of 17 with the mindset of "im the big boss here". bloody hell - mirror yourself please.


you should be the one using your brains at times. all those small little lies you've uttered and those plots you've came out with WON'T impress anyone; in fact you'll end up destructing yourself and in the end of the day, heck, you won't even KNOW who you are. i'm not that dumb bitch you pick up by the roadside or the girl who nods to everything you say and keep quiet to your perspective; i'm somebody that's beyond your expectation. Sometimes I think back of the things you've said; they clash. They clash so much that your own tongue betrays you. gotta watch that tongue of yours, boy. gotta tame down on that "touch-me-and-i'll-crush-you" attitude. all there is right now is temporary; those gang fights and not to say those disgusting things you partake into your body. this world is more than just gang fights.


you're funny, you know. or maybe i just dont understand your language; so please speak some decent ENGLISH for god's sake. you're asking people to accept flaws, to not compare and to not change people but look at what you yourself said? you think you're better than me? well, enlighten me please because i don't see any reasons for you to say that.



it's true that people say "when you like someone, you're blinded"
man, i wasn't blinded, i TOTALLY had no "eyes".

p/s : i'm VERY happy right now, so please bugger off and live your own life; not mine.
i'm out.

i DID IT!

"you look so dumb right now,
standing outside my house,
trying to apologize,
you’re so ugly when you cry,
please, just cut it out"
[take a bow]
my current obsession :D


anyway, i've been away for like a good 6 days now. it feels amazing to step foot into a place you're so familiar with - HOME.


indeed i'm spoiled to the core; to the comforts of home. i don't have to wash, i don't have to cook, i don't have to iron my clothes, i don't have to make my bed, i don't have to sweep the floor.. eh, make me feel better - DO YOU DO ALL OF THESE AT HOME? yeah yeah yeah i know i have to be more "homely" and start doing all the house chores, but i can't help it!
i've got two maids at home; what else can i do :P


anyway, last week was pretty hectic. not to mention that i DID go to the gym :) spent so much quality time with my guy, did school work, did some revision, hung out with my friends and sat for my finals. which leaves me not much time to blog! geram tau. so many things to jot down but normally when i'm free, i would just hit the sheets - totally bumped out!


NOT TO MENTION,
yesterday was my 5th time back in the gym,
and i already lost 2kgs!
yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
despite the fact that my arms and legs are sore lol.

after completing one of the papers. the MOST excruciating one!
LOGICS & CRITICAL THINKING.

dimsum later on!

one of my coursemates, hui fei

i have so many things to do!
one of them is to visit your blogs and read about what's going on with you guys!

i wish i can live in a world where time do not exist.

somebody call the mental asylum please!

it is official!
JENG JENG JENG.
MINNY SUDAH SIAO!
(translation : Minny is now a nutcase!)


I guess this week has started off so rocky for me;
so many assignments due this friday, i'm losing my pace completing it,
i would rather sit and stare out from my dorm window.
instead of flipping through notes and typing away my assignment,
here i am ranting and bragging.


my phone line got barred. curses!
my phone died on me. keypads 1, 2 & 3 keep malfunctioning.
room's in a mess. books all over.
my finals starts in two weeks; godamnit.
my left foot hurts like shit; been a week already.
i feel insignificant.
i feel reluctant.
let's see, what else?
oh yeah, im so pissed off with some people, you know.
this is when the time is NOT right for my mind to have irrelevant thoughts clumping in!
sometimes i wish i could just dig out my brain to refrain from thinking all those shitty stuffs that might turn out to be NOT true after all. ohmigod.


focus minny, focus.

told you it's messy.
assignment 1 : 95% done
assignment 2 : 90% done
assignment 3 : 15% done
tutorial homework : 0% done


fuck it.
due by friday; all of it.
i wish i have like 48 hours a day.
i need to unwind, you idiots.

self entertainment :D




anyway, im glad i went out with JJ, Vingie and aL earlier today.
Im feeling way better now.

i'm such a nerd.
let's party after i hand in ALL of my assignments?
PRETTY PLEASE?